War for real

It seems like its finally happened. the food riot violence from DC is fully here in VA now. The past two nights have been terrible. It's like war for real and then, I mean we're supposed to go to school and stuff and work and act like nothing is happening. The DC army was storming our state last night as the nation watched Biden and Palin. I mean, in a normal context, good for them. But they talk about Iraq and Afghanistan and don't mention anything about us!

I can't understand, someone help me. Why is this not on the news? Why is nobody saying anything? It even has a name now. The Potomac War. There was the Battle at the Courthouse. Some people are saying that guy Hero died two nights ago at that. I hope not cause then these other barbarians, well.

Somebody help us. Where is the national guard? Charles Babbage?